The Party in My Father’s Study

Last Friday is September 26th. A day that I would always remember. 17 years ago, my father passed away in the GA 152 air crash. Sukanto mentioned in his blog that he was “devastated” about my father’s death. However, I doubt the sincerity of his words. I am going to share what I saw as a 10-year old girl right after my father’s death – the sorrow, the lies, and the betrayal.

After we learned the news about GA 152, crashing, my mother sat next to the phone whole day hoping to hear that our father was indeed alive. The next morning, I woke up hoping to receive some good news about my father.

When I opened my bedroom door, I was really surprised. Our house was covered with white curtains and ribbons from first to second floor. It was quieter than usual. There were workers and maids that I didn’t recognize trying to cover every single inch of the house with white papers and ribbons. I looked for my mother, trying to tell her to stop them. However, from my mother’s tears, I knew that my father was really gone.

Few days later, my uncle and aunt, Sukanto and Tinah began to visit our house. Even though they were at our house for many days, I barely see them because they locked themselves up in my father’s study room since the moment they arrived in the morning until they left the house late at night. My father’s study room was located on the first floor next to the living room and the master bedroom. It was a room with a huge collection of books. My father always brought back a lot of books whenever he went on business trips. As he said, books were the best souvenirs because they perfectly reflected the culture of the country. There was a big desk in the home office, where my father would sit whenever he was at home. For kids, it was a very sacred place because our father prohibited anyone from going in unless he was there (he didn’t like anyone messing up his documents). I was very curious of what was going on in dad’s study room as Sukanto and Tinah did not allow any of us to go in.

During Sukanto and Tinah’s visit, a lot of employees went in and out, and some of them even carried out boxes of documents when they left. I took a peek every time when someone opened the door, but I could only see that the employees were talking to Sukanto and Tinah.

 I finally got a chance to sneak into the study room with my brother, James, on the day of the funeral. I entered the room expecting to see some serious meeting going on, as it was usually what I see when dad was in there. Instead, what I saw was totally the opposite. It seems like all of the happiness in the house was gathered in that room. There were cakes and snacks on my father’s desk. Tinah told me that she asked the employees to bring her favorite cakes all the way from Jakarta. I saw her enjoying the cakes on the couch with a big smile. Sukanto at the same time was enjoying them on my father’s desk. At that moment, I felt a sense of disgust as I knew my mother had not been eating much since my father passed away. Besides eating, I could hear the laugh, the stupid jokes, and people are smiling and enjoying themselves there. I left the room as they have ruined the sacredness of dad’s study room because he would never allow anyone to eat in that room. 

A couple hours later, my father’s funeral began, his coffin was carried by 6 persons and placed in the front room of our house. More than 1000 people attended. It was at that moment, there was a loud cry that took over everyone’s’ attention. It was my uncle and my aunt. They were crying very emotionally. Everyone who attended the funeral was moved by Sukanto and Tinah’s reactions and their sorrow toward my father’s death. In front of the crowd, my uncle promised that he would take care of my family. As the atmosphere heated up, Tinah even held my hand in front of everyone. I was so shocked as she never said any comforting word to me after my father passed away. She didn’t even show that kind of compassion when we were in the study room together. To be honest, I was confused.

According to the tradition, my father’s coffin was buried a couple days after the funeral ceremony.

As the soil slowly covered my father’s coffin, I could not stop thinking about all the possibilities. Could my father be alive if Sukanto did not phone my father in the last minute and ask him to change his flight schedule and replace him to attend the award ceremony in Jakarta? If my father did not change his flight ticket, would my father be alive today?

I hope dad rest in peace and would never learned that his closest brother and business partner has chosen to betray him.

Life is a long journey. What happened in the past would inevitably shape your future. Sukanto probably do not have the courage to apology for stealing my father’s assets and his continuous harassment but I want him to know that every person he is mistreating and abusing is somebody’s kid.

He treasured his kids with the biggest love but would throw a knife on others’ kids without remorse.

I could never forget the smile on Sukanto’s face and his crying voice. To me, that was the biggest irony.

Didn’t my uncle feel remorse for asking my dad to take that tragic flight?

Then, why did he force my mother to sign documents and send death threats to my family?

Why did he treat us like an enemy right after my father passed away?

What would dad think if he knew his brother abused his family?

And the biggest question remained in my mind. What made them so happy in my father’s funeral?

Why were they having a party in dad’s home office?

Why did they look like they were having a great time when dad’s coffin was right in the living room?

I believe only Sukanto himself could answer the question.